Authentic FearNoMovie

Hey Hey guys… I bet the moment you saw the title.. the new upcoming parody film “vampire suck” flashes across your mind right??

I don’t know how many of you guys actually like parody films, but I do enjoy watching it once a while.. BUT for the 1st time.., I am actually looking forward to “Vampire Suck” Why??? Here’s Why!

I never like vampires.. the word “vampire” never gave me any spine-chilling terror or sleepless nights experiences, I mean.. sometimes I do ask myself.. why am I not afraid of them and I still find them suck.. lets take look at the old-timer vampires like Lord Count Dracula for example :

i) They are known to suck a lot blood and leave you dry like the government.

ii) They only appears in the middle of the night and are afraid of the sunlight. A fag?

iii) They are never popular with girls , every girl in town who spoke to them will somehow get bitten for no valid reason! That’s just ain’t right dude…

iv) they cant stand garlic.. you kidding me??

v) they just look too darn ugly

so if we look at these points above, I’m sure we all find them suck. If Count Dracula were your friend on facebook, you’ll find him with the least friends.. There’s no doubt about it!

Count Dracula did realize his past mistakes and taught his future generation well… So 1 Decade later,the modern breed of new vampires were born.

Well, the strict parenting did paid off, and young modern vampires like Edward Cullen became is the exact opposite of their ancestors:

i) They can now control lust for bloods and drink wine instead.

ii) They are able to adapt the sunlight and go to the beach like a real man now.

iii) They can now flirt and communicate with girls… According to statistics, 8 out of 10 girls are crazy about this dude named Cullen now..

iv) They loved anything that goes with garlic

v) They can sit at home watching TV and still look gorgeous when we normal man are working our butts off in gym.

Now, they really scare crap out of me, no girls are willing to talk to me unless I said I'm a Cullen fan and will be going to the “how to be a cool vampire course” which cost me RM 5000 a month.. Will you in any chance still think vampires doesn’t suck?

Look.. from the primeval times until now year 2010.. they have kept annoying me until i could not bear any further.. Therefore, I'm going by protest by going into the movie!!!